Green monster
No, it's not the Hulk. I'm talking about that green-eyed monster that lives inside each one of us, hidden quietly in the darkest part of ourselves, and when something triggers it, it roars to life, coming out sometimes as tall as the Green Giant. Know what I mean? ¡Ay caramba! Y dale with the Hulk. I'm talking about jealousy here people. Yes, yes... That's the green monter. Why am I bringing up this topic? Well, for the past couple of weeks I've been reading blog entries and other posts dealing with that little monster called envy. Especially among romance writers. From little twinge of jealousy when hearing someone snagged an agent or a 3-book contract to full blow-out cases in which writers manage to say that a fellow writer's work sucks. Gosh, I even readcases of writers complaining that this or that other writer got a better cover or hotter-looking model on their book cover, or that this writer is getting more attention from their publisher than they do. Of course, when you're struggling to make it as a writer and you dream of snagging Dreidre Knight as your agent and your goal is to get that 4-book contract with Avon Books, it's only natural to feel a pang of jealousy when you see a fellow writer landing a contract with the agent of your dreams or signing the sought-after book deal instead of you. So as I read these posts, I started thinking (which isn't a good thing sometimes) about how I've personally felt when I log into Romance Divas and read my fellow writers posting about getting sign-up by this or that agent, selling their books to this or that publisher, and getting book deals right and left. Especially those who are newcomers and have been involved in this whole romance-writing thing for less time than me. I realized that I've felt happy for all of them, but never jealous. Not even a teensy-weensy twinge inside. Which leads me to wonder what's wrong with me. (Okay, besides the fact that weird thing about having to have my hair on a pony-tail and wear bunny slippers to write. *rolls eyes*) How come I don't feel jealous about these things? Some say it's not unhealthy to feel a bit jealous of other writers' accomplishments since it's more like creative jealousy. Am I...unnatural then? Hm... Don't answer that one, please. Oh, I'm not saying that I've never been jealous. When I go to the beach and see a woman with a great body wearing a bikini, I turn into a Hulk with envy. Or when I'm driving and see someone in a Hummer (H3) pass by my 1990 Nissan Sentra, damn, I'm totally jealous. (So my ideal would be to have the perfect body and drive the coolest car. *rofl*) Seriously though, when it comes to writing, sure I wish I could slap a story in 1 - 2 weeks, pulling 10 - 15 pages daily, like some of my fellow writers do. However, I've never felt jealous. I might have felt inadequate as a writer at first, but then I came to terms with how I write. So I've been wondering if the green monster inside will be triggered sometime, or what will trigger it to surface. What makes you jealous? What rises that green-eyed monster inside you when it comes to writing? |
posted by Silma at 12:01 AM
Comments on "Green monster"
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Shelli Stevens said ... (11:31 AM) :
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Crystal* said ... (11:50 AM) :
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Unknown said ... (12:34 PM) :
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Karen Erickson said ... (1:21 PM) :
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Emmy Ellis said ... (2:07 PM) :
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Zinnia said ... (3:12 PM) :
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Silma said ... (7:52 AM) :
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Angela's Designs said ... (5:07 AM) :
post a commentI do get jealous, I admit it. And it's usually about the writing stuff. But I try not to dwell on it, just accept that my time will come. And then I also have to admit to myself (when I hear someone sold to NY or got an Agent) I'm not trying nearly as hard as I could be.
But see, now I'm jealous, that you don't get jealous ;)
THIS is an interesting post.
I have to admit to being the same. I'm extremely jealous when I see a woman with a flat stomach. You know, after three children, just ain't happening.
But writing successes? Nope. *shaking head*
There was about a weeklong successfest on the blogs I read. And I was HAPPY for those who got an agent or a multi-book contract. Hell, the ladies at Writeminded tore it up.
I know my turn will come. And that's good enough for me right now.
I'm pleased for those who succeed. Jealousy is a waste of time and emotion that could be spent working on my OWN writing.
Grins*
Jealous? Nope. Envious? Oh, yeah. I don't think these are even vaguely the same emotion (though the dictionary disagrees with me, LOL!). I want what some of my friends have. Some of my friends want what I have. But I don't BEGRUDGE them having it, or think that somehow it should have been me who got that agent, that deal, etc. Envy (of this kind) can exist among friends, jealousy can’t.
I like the term envious. I become envious of other's success. Of course until recently I had nothing to be envious about cos I was writing but not submitting anything. I realized I needed to get the ball rolling and start submitting something.
I'm going to wait a while and then I'll pursue an agent. When I hear about writers landing great agents, I get a little wistful. And start thinking, "Someday...someday!"
I don't get jealous or envious. So I'm weird like you Silma!
Along with writing my own stuff, I also promote and boost up authors who haven't been published, get them seen. The reason? To get them to feel how I felt when I got my first deal.
There are millions of people out there. Room enough for everyone to get a book deal.
I'm genuinely happy to hear of other people getting book deals. To imagine their happiness makes me happy.
I don't even get jealous of flat stomachs, small asses, pretty girls. Life is just too short for that rubbish. Enjoy what you're doing, revel in your own successes. What will be will be. Fate sees to that.
:o)
I just get frustrated with traditional publishers.
Silma, you mentioned the artist who did Zinnia's Conspiracy of Angels cover...it's my hubby. He's their cover artist. Cool that my own hubby does my covers, eh?
:o)
OH.MY.WORD!
Word veri, not joking here:
qovfart!
I'm laughing so loud here!
I'm always happy for a fellow writer because I know that my day will come some time too!
But I do sometimes feel envious. That wistful kind of feeling. You're smiling and you're happy for them, but you still wish it was you, too!
I am envious of the flat tummies out there, but not of someone's writing sucesses. :) I genuinely feel happy for people who take the leap and make it to the other side, and I would want them to be happy for me. Writing is hard work!
Mostly I feel insecure, not jealous.
I guess I'm like you Kalen. I don't get jealous, I'm envious and it makes me work every harder to write that book that will one day get me an agent and publisher.
Wow, I don't get a chance to blog hop like everyone else so this is an eye-opener for me. I don't get jealous. I'm genuinely happy for Divas getting their moments in the sun. GO for it I say! What makes me jealous? People with maids and cooks!! That is something I'd cry real tears to have. I need a housekeeper!! Well someone other than ME!!! at least for cooking we can eat out :) but the cleaning- You'd think I was the only one that knew how in this house! That's my defining 'success' meter- when I can afford a maid!
I'm not a writer, but I will admit that I've wanted to be one. I've tried to write and just never got very far with it, so I've tried to make peace with my lack of motivation LOL. No excuses, but I do feel a little envious for those who do follow through. Mostly I admire people who write - it is not easy to do, by any means.
But it's also exciting to see people I know make their dream a reality, and I know how hard they worked to get there. That's really cool.
But the whole bikini thing? Yeah, I'm totally green about that. It's not fair, I tell you LOL.
Amanda - I agree with you that was totally unfair and would make anyone jealous. *g*
It inspires me to see so much success from the people around me. I'm a big believer that it's earned, not given - so it makes me want to work harder, write more, do a better job.
Great topic ;)
Zinnia - What's not to get frustrated with NY publishers? But remember, this is a business just like any other. And they're in the publishing business to make money not for the love of books. So if they can't sell it, they won't buy it. Even if there's a small niche for a book. They spend too much money on the production of a book. That's why small publishers and epublishers are able to fill out that void. *g*
M.E. - You're right. There's a niche for every writer, room for us all. BTW, I don't hand out compliments often, but your DH is a great graphic artist. It must be really good to have one at home working on your book covers, so you can keep a sharp eye on it and complain when needed. *lol*
Bebe - I hear you on the insecure feelings. I think that a lot of writers experience it too. So don't feel bad, you're not alone. *s*
Marie - *lol* Well, in my case I'd settle for someone who can cook.
Shelli, Karen E, Karen, and Lyric - I guess envy creates a healthy level of competition within in some writers. That is if the writer can deal with a good dose of competition, and be alright about it.
Kalen - I can see where you're making the difference between jealousy and envy. *g* Wanting what others have but not begrudging them for having them. I guess I'm so different from my friends that I don't even want what they have. I have always moved to my "rhythm" so to speak, that yes, I want things but funny how none of my friends have it. *lol*
I definitely have bikini-envy lol. I'm always happy for people when I hear they made a great sale. Sometimes there's a twinge of envy, sometimes not. I think it has a lot to do with how my week has gone lol. ;)
People who can slap out a novella in two weeks or a full in a month or something like that. I remind myself though, that many of the ones I'm fretting about, don't have dayjobs and have husbands to support them. I'm totally NOT ragging about it--its' a good gig if you can get it--but that reminder helps keep me sane.
B.B. - I agree with you, chica. It pisses me off big time when I see Paris Hilton's dog having a book out, and some great unpub writer out there with great stories getting rejection letters.
Lori - Yeah, certain events that make a crummy week can trigger the envy. I've felt it in my full-time job, when I looked at a co-worker and think why he/she makes more $$$ than I do when I do more work.
Amie - I agree with you. There are those who are lucky to be able to stay home and work on their stories. But those of us who are single and have to work our asses off with full-time jobs can usually have the same amount of time to write.
Yeah, it's cool Silma!
Bebe Thomas - your comment about insecurity nearly made me cry. Bless your heart.
:o)
I just wanted to stop by and say great blog!
Hmmm, what makes me jealous??? I'm not exactly sure. Sometimes I'm jealous when my husband stays late at work and there is female coworker there. But then I realize I've watched too many movies with my exhusband. LOL
Alright alright. I'm totally jealous of supermoms. Even with a schedule there is never enough hours for me to get it all done. And then I look at how tired they are and then how ragged their kids sometimes are and I think, I got it pretty damn good. My house isn't sparkling, but my kid knows my name. *S* I'm still jealous though. LOL
I love to see other writers getting good news, but sure, I'm human. Sometimes I'm a little envious when someone else does really well or is where I'd like to be. Mostly I try to use this emotion and plow it back into my writing, make it work for me rather than against me. I know if I work hard I'll get there in the end.
Oh, and the bikini thing. Yes, I've been there LOL
Miranda - Thanks for checking out my blog! Yeah, the supermoms. How do they do it? I have to admit I admire women who have many kids and manage a house and all. *lol* I don't think I'd be able to keep up with everything.
Shelley - I think many writers are like you, that use that envy energy, which is negative, and transform into a desire to better themselves and work harder, which is something positive.
I get envious from time to time, and mostly about productivity issues, but I find most authors are encouraging. It is hard to harbor envy/jealousy of someone who gets more writing time than I do when they're encouraging me to push myself and write as much as I can. I never have met an author yet who told me ... "Write as much as I can." So I try to focus on what I can do.