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Saturday, February 26, 2005

Shaking off the blues

Why did you change your blog's look?, you ask. Well, tonight while checking out the latest comments to my posts and answering them, I was looking at my blog and thought, "It's so blue. Gosh, I went with my mood." Suddenly it was like Thor's hammer had hit me. Did I put the verb in the past tense? Yes, I guess...no, I know I did. Another thought quickly struck me. I'd chosen the blue template for my blog because it went with my current mood.

Let's face it, I've been feeling blue for a long time. Part of it due to great frustration with my writing skills. That frustration coming from failure. Add to fear to that mix. Fear to fail again. Another part from stress at work. That blues feeling crept on me until it took complete hold.

A final thought hit me. That means that what happened to me two nights ago must have been a meltdown. I woke up at 3:35 am with an upset stomach. I knew it had to be the tension. My back had been aching all night, and I was sure it was from accumulated stress. I went to the bathroom for some Mylanta, and then I crawled back to bed but couldn't sleep. At this point I realized I was still feeling tense, so I put a CD from Enya, and taking out my iPaq, I reclined in my bed to read an ebook. While I read, I concentrated on my breathing, trying to relax and letting the tension dripped out of me. It wasn't until 4:45 am that I was able to go back to sleep.

The next day, Friday, I went to work although my stomach still felt sore. At least it was only half-day since I had to work today until mid-day. Anyway, this afternoon I woke up from a nap and my head was buzzing with ideas. I had these two cool titles for two vampire stories, this story line for an erotica series called The Tutor, and a blurb for another story.

So tonight when I looked at my blog, I realized the look of it wasn't me. I was no longer feeling blue. Au contraire, I felt energized. So out of the (not so wide) variety of templates, I chose this new one 'coz it looks the chirpiest.

Hmm... What chased the blues away? Was it that big bag of Valentine M&M's I bought a few days before at Walgreens for a 75% discount? Or was it my new electronic toys? Or maybe somehow, something deep inside me snap up and said "Enough!"?

Comments on "Shaking off the blues"

 

Blogger Silma said ... (10:06 AM) : 

I know Teresa, it sounds like the stuff (wet) dreams are made of. *winks*

 

Blogger Silma said ... (10:23 AM) : 

Thanks for the vote of confidence, Nancy! :)

 

Blogger Lynn said ... (10:52 AM) : 

Doesn't matter what chased the blues away, only that they're gone. Chin up! It'll all keep getting better. (But I do know what you've been going through.)

 

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